The Confessions of a (former) Primary President

If I told you that my heart belonged to 223 children you might think I was exaggerating (and no, I am not the old woman who lived in a shoe, thank heavens!). Well whether you believe it or not it is true. Last Sunday I was released as the Primary President in my ward. It happened quickly, it went by too fast! Maybe I took for granted seeing the faces of those kids and teachers that I had grown to love so much, but because it was my last official day in that office of primary, I spent all of those two hours crying or trying not to cry. I am sure on hidden camera it would have been hilarious to watch myself and two dear friends crying and smiling our faces off. Don't worry, we did explain to the kids that we were indeed fine, after some concerned glances in our direction.

 It was my privilege to serve them, to learn from them and to learn along side them.

So what did I learn from my time in this calling? A lot of things! I won't share them all, but I will share a few experiences. My testimony changed  and grew, sometimes in ways I didn't even think could or needed to be changed.
The Lord does qualify who He calls. Not to say that I was from that point perfect.... ha ha ha sadly no, that didn't happen. There were plenty of mistakes made I assure you. However, I was able to learn the names of all the kids much quicker than you'd think. I had spent a lot of time with the younger kids in the ward and knew a lot of them, but didn't know the older kids very well. I was amazed at how quickly I loved them and grew to know them better. Also, no matter how stressed I became, no matter how challenging it was to fit all of it in to my already busy life, I never would have traded it for anything.
Also, my testimony of service in church callings changed. I had been taught, and I believed, that if you were asked to serve in a calling that you should serve willingly if possible and that you should do your best. I have never turned down a calling (never needed to) and I had always tried my best. Done, right? Well I never stopped to look around me or notice what others were doing or how they were serving. I'm not telling you that I received a great testimony of service because of what I did...no. I could see from a different point of view all of the many people who were serving all around me. The time and the effort that they put in. In my ward it takes 46 people to run primary on Sunday. That doesn't include the non-Sunday callings of scouts and activity days that takes another 16 people. Not to mention that I was in closer contact with the other auxiliary presidencies and the bishopric and was able to see some (not all) of their efforts. I am amazed and grateful for each person that I served with and their example to me. That's not even all! There were Sundays when I needed to cover primary classes at the last minute. Anyone who knows me really well, knows that I like to prepare. I don't like to be asked at the last minute to teach a lesson or take on a task if I can help it, I need time! I found myself in the position of needing to snag people sometimes 5 minutes before primary began. In the beginning I was petrified. I thought that for sure people would say no! They would ignore my phone calls or texts and they would come to dread seeing me in the halls at church. Much to my happy surprise that was not the case. Just when I thought that primary would not be covered and all was lost (maybe a little dramatic) people that I asked would say "sure, where do you want me?" ....what?! I came to know that I could rely on my ward members, that they were willing to help. They knew that their service was needed and they stepped up at the right time. Bless them!!!! I am so grateful for the example of selfless service.

I was given the chance to bear my testimony at the baptisms of those kids that turned 8 and made that decision to do so. I found myself baring the same testimony and wondered if maybe I was just getting into habit, and if I needed to change what I was telling them. It changed a little depending on the child(children) I was talking to, but was it getting old? Whenever I thought about it, I would get a strong feeling that, no, the testimony was true for each of them, for each of us, no matter how many times I shared it. That testimony applies to us all and it is this: That we are children of our Heavenly Father, that He loves us and knows us. He knows us better than our parents know us, better than we know ourselves. He knows your favorite breakfast cereal, or maybe that you don't eat breakfast. He knows that sometimes your brothers and sisters make you mad. He knows when you've had a bad day and when things are hard. He knows when you are happy and joyful and things are going just right. He knows, and He wants to be there, to have a relationship with you through all of it. He knows we make mistakes and that is why He hasn't left us alone, but gives us the gift of the Holy Ghost to help us, parents and teachers who love us and guide us. That is why He sent His Son, for you. Because He loves you. Your worth is great, so great.

I am still thinking of them as "my kids". And I hope that they will know as they grow that their worth is great. I hope that they'll treat themselves accordingly, as a child of God should treat themselves, with kindness, respect, forgiveness, and to hold them selves to a higher standard of living like the Savior. Because they deserve it.

I served with the greatest people, all of them, teachers, leaders. Amazing music leaders! (wow!) And 5 (5 because there was a little change in the middle as because I was blessed with 3 counselors and a secretary!) of the most amazing friends are sisters that served in the primary presidency with me. They inspired me, kept me on my feet, and were perfect examples. And I know that they each shared that same love for the children that I did. Two of them will continue on as part of the new primary presidency and I know that they'll be great... that "my kids" are in good hands.

As for the rest of us... well, we'll be ok. As I was struggling with being a little sad, my little brother gave me some good advice in the form of a song, "I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord..."  I am grateful that the Lord invited me to serve as primary president for that time.