Pregnancy

Since this will probably be my only post on this topic I might as well start from the beginning. When we found out we were going to have #3 it was a little bit of a surprise. We'll put it this way: It was a surprise but not a shock.
Brad made the comment, before we were expecting this baby, that "things are so perfect right now, with the two we have" translating into: we finally got the hang of this with 2! In a way I totally had to agree, but after praying about it I had the feeling we should go for it. We decided we would have another, we just hadn't decided when. Well this decides it for us right? That is how I look at it. Although we were a little nervous realizing that this puts us in the market for a new car, more furniture and some added expenses all in the middle of finishing our basement, which has now become that much more important to complete - it is also true that the kids are all about 2 1/2 years apart which I think is good for us, we can start eliminating some of the baby stuff we've been holding onto, and I will have 3 kids by the age of 30. (Wow those sound kind of selfish huh! I'll get to that in a minute.) A friend also pointed out that this way it eliminates the emotional stress of trying for a long time to have another baby. True.

I was a bit nervous in the beginning. I mean 1 to 2 was a rougher transition than I expected. I figure this time I at least can be prepared by telling myself that I am not prepared and therefore just plan on things being a little crazy around here for the next year or so.

Now getting to the selfish part of me . . . gees I sort of hate to admit it, but lets be honest, shall I? I haven't been super excited this time around - that is NOT to say that I am not excited about this baby. It just isn't the same kind of excitement this time. I don't know if it is because this is my 3rd and so the 'newness' of pregnancy has worn off or because it wasn't planned, or what it is. I wonder if anyone else has felt this way ??? But it makes me feel a little guilty - but hey that is what motherhood does to me a lot of the time anyway right?

The other thing that makes me feel a little guilty is how upset I am over my pregnant body. Complaining isn't always a very attractive feature. I am aware of that. I know there are many people who would go through anything to have a baby, I am one of them too. But since this is pretty much a journal entry and it's my body and my blog then I am going to go ahead and have it out! Try to take it with a grain of salt and a little humor that is what I am trying to do anyway.

A couple of things that I have learned this time around:
* do not fill the tub too full of water! it may cause a tidal wave in your bathroom when you get in.
*3rd time is NOT a charm I am still not one of those supermodel pregnant women with a cute little belly bump while the rest of her body remains as ever before.

Now I would love to say that my last couple of pregnancies went by with me gaining a breezy and normal amount of weight to the tune of 30 lbs. and that I just don't understand it! But alas, no I gained 50 with Garrett and 45 with Embrie so why am I so upset that I seem to be on the same track this time? I don't know! Ha! Maybe I am just getting cranky in my old age?

I know I am sounding dramatic, I don't care. I am not saying this for one more person to try and make me feel better by saying "oh you look cute" or "you haven't gained that much". I am 5'2" and I know what 50 extra lbs looks like on my body ok! No patronizing! BUT that being said the weight is only part of it.

Lets talk about why I look like I've been hit several times with a baseball bat. When I was pregnant with Garrett is was pretty easy. I didn't have much to complain about besides swollen ankles. With Embrie I didn't get swollen ankles because she was born in the winter. But I did get something else and they are permanent souvenirs. Bruises . . . permanent ones . . . vein bruises. In my 3rd trimester with Embrie I got varicose veins on the right side of my body from the hip down. I panicked at first but when I asked the doctor he said this happens sometimes and that they usually go away after you give birth. Phew! That is good because they hurt! After she was born the veins did go away but I was left with two big bruises on the back of my right thigh. They are just there.
The more often you're pregnant the more easily your body transitions into the mode right? At least I think that is so for most people. Well mine has a good memory. These veins just popped right back as soon as my 1st trimester was coming to a close. Once again, feeling pain and reaching back to the feel the back of my leg I freaked out when I felt some huge lumpy bumps. Only to remember about an hour later that this has happened before. And so they all quickly popped back out of hiding again. I didn't let it scare me this time. I guess you just put up with the pain and swelling and itching (yes the bruises itch sometimes its weird). It's been worse this time. I have 2 more bruises possibly forming: one on my calf, one near my knee and I have one for sure that is already there accompanying the other two already on my thigh. Sure I know people who have legs that look like mine, but they are all over the age of 50!!!!! I started this at 27!
So what can I do about it? The doctor told me to start saving my money for an appointment with the vein institute. Ha ha! So I will. Ok Ok I am done complaining. Now for something better.


There are a lot of things I don't know but one thing I do know is that I (we) will love this baby just as much as we love and adore the other two we have. Sometimes parents have that feeling of "how can my heart hold that much love for another child" (which they later find out is totally possible). I have never had that feeling, it's something that I know I have room for. And I definitely have room for this little girl! The closer it gets the more excited I get.

There is only one other worry we've had. Will this baby be on oxygen at birth too? Will we be having another long hospital stay? Will we be coming home with wires and machines and oxygen tanks this time? There is no way to know because there has never been a definitive answer as to why it has happened the last two times. We'll just have to wait and see. If it happens again then, we're pro's at it right? Sort of. There is no way to not feel stressed over the health of your child just because you've survived before and although both Garrett and Embrie's issues were very similar they were not completely the same. We've both laughed about what we would do if this baby is totally fine. It would be kind of weird and I am afraid I will spend a lot of time worrying and second guessing and thinking they or we have missed something.
So we'll hope for the best and see what happens! Either way I am 29 week and can now start the count down instead of the count up. I have 11 weeks until my due date! Yeehaw!
Now if we can settle on a name . . . .