My "eventually" . . .

The title is inspired by someone else's inspiration, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I love my family so much. They mean the world to me, they are everything that is important. At times I feel myself to be quite inadequate or undeserving of such a great husband and such precious little souls. Especially since I had my second child and I often feel pulled in each direction. The day we brought Embrie home from the hospital, we were actually back on our way to the doctor's office (she had a few little problems and had been in the hospital some extra time). It was a rough day for her and for us. I remember on the way to the doctor's office telling Brad through tears " I want to do everything. I want to do everything with and for Garrett, everything with and for Embrie, everything with and for you, and I still want to keep the house spotless and get dinner ready on time everyday. . . and I just can't." I feel "giulty" all the time that I am not spending enough time with anyone in the family. I've often said "nothing gets enough of my attention, not Garrett, not Embrie, not Brad and not the house." What I want is for everything to get my attention all the time. And these feelings often tend to make me frustrated and then I loose my patience with those whom I love the most and who should have my patience. Then I just feel like a worse person and the cycle goes on and on.

Now this probably sounds depressing but I am lucky because I have something . . .
Constant prayer . . . that is the thing that helps. It is a good thing that the Lord is so understanding of our faults and that He is willing to forgive me my short comings and let me try again. (I need lots of tries.) I have great mothers in my life, like my own and my grandmothers, my mother-in-law etc. Plus wonderful friends and family that let me know I am not completely alone. Their kids have done things that have drove them crazy too (for instance taking the scissors to my bedspread). So many of the mothers in my life have encouraged me, lifted me up, and made me laugh (which is also important). Often through out the day I have to stop and ask myself how Christ would handle the situation. Sometimes I know and sometimes I am at a complete loss as to how he would do it, but that is probably because I am far from perfect and don't yet have that perspective. But that is my goal to handle things that way. With utmost care, just enough firmness, but not too much and to take a step back and decide if it really matters. (In the scheme of things bedspreads probably don't matter, but my 3 year old definatley does.)
So my eventually means to me that eventually I will be the person I want to be . . .

These are a few moments in picutres from our daily life that make me keep trying to be better.

daddy-daughter bonding time
one of the few moments when they love each other ;)

Did he run out of energy?

No he did not.

Sprinkles!!!

I'm up!

Peek-a-boo

Daddy helps with homework

Another rare moment

They are so perfect, now I want to be perfect too.

Eventually. . . if I keep trying then . . . eventually . . .